You may remember, I talked in my last post about my unhealthy relationship with food. Food was my frenemy. For most of my life, food provided a strange yet equal amount of comfort and stress.
Tomorrow will be three weeks since I started my modified version of the Daniel Fast. A typical Daniel Fast ends at three weeks, but my commitment is to the end of Lent, and I still have a ways to go. However, I'm finding myself liking this way of eating (say WHAT!). A friend used the word "vegan-ish", and I like that. Mind you, I am a lover of cheeseburgers, french fries, and all things greasy... but I'm finding that they're becoming less and less appealing. This new way of living is incredibly healthy, it's making me look at the ingredients labels on EVERYTHING, and I have just as much energy to run as I did when I was still eating meat and carbs. On top of all of these really great things (!!!!this is the part I'm so excited about!!!!) being veganish is changing my relationship with food.
Let me say this again and in bold for emphasis, my relationship with food is changing.
I chose the fast because I wanted to be mindful of what was going into my body. I believe that we are all created uniquely by God and with the utmost love. I wanted to honor His creation. I had no idea God would use this as a huge turning point in my life.
Since starting this fast, for the first time in a very long time, I am not stressed about food. I don't feel guilty for eating on days in which I haven't worked out. I'm not concerned with counting calories or carbs. I'm not starving or overeating. I think, for the first time in quite some time, I'm experiencing a healthy "normal" relationship with food.
Food is no longer my frenemy.
I am finally winning my battle against an eating disorder mentality. An eating disorder mentality can seem hopeless, adding to the anxiety that one is already experiencing about food. I remember countless times when I've wondered if I would ever be able to eat and experience food in a "normal" way. Right now, I'm getting there. I'm winning.
Pardon me while I have a nerd moment to explain just how awesome this feels in a bunch of run on sentences. (Harry Potter SPOILER ALERT)
It's like in Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows when Voldemort and Harry meet at the Battle of Hogwarts and their wands lock and the magical force goes back and forth between their wands, but then it slowly yet powerfully makes its way toward Voldemort and everyone is like YES! GO HARRY! YOU CAN DO THIS! Voldemort tries to pull the ol' Avada Kedavra on Harry not knowing that Harry is the true master of the Elder Wand, and it backfires and Voldemort dies once and for all and FINALLY the wizard world (and muggles like me) can breathe a sigh of relief and REJOICE!
It's kind of like that. It's so exciting. Ah.
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